Welcome to 5 to Thrive, 5 to Dive. In this weekly write-up, we try to predict which players will outperform their weekly FantasyPros rank (Thrives) and those who will underperform (Dives). This isn’t a start-sit piece. It’s simply telling you who has a chance to do what this week. Enjoy!
5 to Thrive
Russell Wilson, QB Seattle Seahawks (FantasyPros Rank: 18)
Wilson! Wilson! Where the fuck have you been, Wilson?! Russ Buss hasn’t exactly had the hottest start in the world this year. And my call of him being QB2 this year might end up being just a little off. A little. But this week, Wilson will get to go against the Rams secondary who just got lit up by the Vikings. Granted, the Vikings have much better weapons and are a better team than Pete Carroll’s band of men, but the Seahawks should have to throw it a ton. The Seahawks Oline can’t block for shit and they should be playing behind. I know it’s not smart to predict gameflow, but fuck it, the Seahawks will have to throw it a ton. Wilson should be a borderline QB1 this week.
Derrick Henry, RB Tennessee Titans (FantasyPros Rank: 29)
This call scares the ever lovin’ shit out of me. I think Henry sucks. He reminds me of Trent Richardson except a lot larger and maybe slower. Yikes. But Hungry Hippo Henry gets to go against a Bills defense that is as soft as baby shit this week. The Titans should handle Buffalo just fine which could lead to them running the ball a lot. Derrick Henry has been a colossal disappointment this year to those who drafted him but if you’re ever going to start him, this is the week.
Alex Ekeler, RB Los Angeles Chargers (FantasyPros Rank: 37)
Does Jon Gruden miss Khalil Mack yet? The Raiders front 7 is absolutely atrocious and just got lit up by the Browns. Melvin Gordon and Alex Ekeler could both have big time games this week against Gruden’s band of misfit toys on defense. Ekeler is sitting at RB15 right now. What really? Holy shitballs. His rank could go even higher after this week as the quick RB figures to feast on the slow LBs of the Raiders.
Calvin Ridley, WR Atlanta Falcons (FantasyPros Rank: 23)
Is your WR going against the Steelers? If yes, play that MOFO fo sho. Ridley is tearing the NFL up over last couple of games and should continue his run against a Pittsburgh secondary that seems to forget that their jobs depend on them covering the guys on the other team. This game is gonna be an absolute shootout so if you have a player in it, put them in your lineup. Ridley is gonna tear that secondary’s ass up on Sunday.
Dede Westbrook, WR Jacksonville Jaguars (FantasyPros Rank: 35)
Speaking of secondaries you want to start your guys against, hello Kansas City! I think this game has shootout potential and Westbrook is a monster out of the slot. I’d rather be a monster in the slot if you know what I’m saying. Sup. Anyways, Dede, that’s fun to say and type could feast. Fournette is out this week and when he’s out, Blake Bortles stops being Blake Bortles for some reason and figures out that you need to throw to the guys in the same color jerseys as you. Fire Westbrook up this week.
5 to Dive
Pat Mahomes, QB Kansas City Chiefs (FantasyPros Rank: 10)
This call will definitely come back to bite me in muh buttcheeks but if I could avoid starting Mahomes this week, I would. The Jags D ain’t nothing to fuck with. They’re big, hard and fast. That’s the kinda D you like. Oh shit, we’re supposed to be talking about football. Yeah, Mahomes has been crazy good to start the year but he hasn’t seen anything like this defense. I don’t think he finishes in the Top 10 this week at QB.
Saquon Barkley, RB New York Giants (FantasyPros Rank: 6)
I feel like I have Barkley on this list every week. And every week, he normally proves me wrong. I just can’t trust that Giants Oline or the dumb dumb that hands Charles’ godson the ball. The Panthers are a legit tough defense and get to play at home on a weeks rest. I think they’re going to be pretty geared up to shutting the Number 2 pick down and making the Giants one dimensional. Which would be a good thing for them considering that means Eli would have to pass and we all know how that goes. Has anyone ever looked dumber than Eli does? Seriously.
Kerryon Johnson, RB Detroit Lions (FantasyPros Rank: 19)
Yo, Matt Patricia, can we please just let this guy Kerry his Johnson more please? Ok, that probably didn’t land but my point is Patricia needs to stop being a bearded fuckhead and let the most talented RB have some more work. I don’t know how much more LeGarrette Rollin’ Blounts anyone can take. He must have some serious dirt on Patricia and definitely not from the South Jim Bob Cooter. I just can’t trust the Lions to do the right things yet.
Tyreek Hill, WR Kansas City Chiefs (FantasyPros Rank: 11)
The thing with Tyfreek is that it only takes one for him to blow this call out of the water. Can I see a world where Hill just runs straight by everyone on the field and Mahomes bombs one a thousand yards for a TD? Yes, yes I can. But the Jags are the best D in the league for a reason. They know how to take playmakers away and make an offense beat them in different ways. I don’t think he’ll see Jalen Ramsey this week but that just means he gets to go against AJ Bouye and probably a safety over the top. Unless he catches a bomb, I don’t see Hill finishing near 11 this week.
Jarvis Landry, WR Cleveland Browns (FantasyPros Rank: 18)
The upgrade at QB is definitely going to help Landry’s season long value and he should be a borderline WR1 the rest of the way. However, Baltimore just made the Steelers offense look silly and this week they get Jimmy Smith back. How many Jimmy Smith’s have there been in the NFL? What a super generic name. Do better parents! The Ravens are on the road again so that could bode against them but I just can’t see Jarvis Juice Landry finishing near his rank this week.
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