By Richard Lick
Here’s your week 5 waiver wire pickups, use my knowledge or don’t and lose your next game it’s your call. I’m not a professional fantasy football analyzer statistician person but I feel pretty confident in my waiver wire piece.
Each player is owned in less than 50% of leagues but in no particular order of need to pick up.
A man that is not all that useful, unless Fournette is injured (which seems to happen a lot). Yeldon seems to be in line for some more snaps again since Fournette is out because his hamstrings are made of jello. Yeldon capitalizes on the fact that he is also a great pass catcher. Usually since Sacksonville has shut down opposing offense you don’t worry about them falling behind and needing to play catch up but it seems the defense isn’t flawless. Yeldon is a RB2 with Leonard jelly strings Fournette out.
Did you know polis in the end of the word Indianapolis is Greek for city state? No, really I kid you not. Anyhow, Hines is a solid pickup at RB for a team that cannot run the ball. They honestly are “turrible” (said in a Charles Barkley voice). Hines is a pass catching back so he should really see a great deal of usage in the pass game. This platoon backfield isn’t the best place to find your sleeper RB pick of the year, but with Hines, you should manage to get somewhere close to a win this week.
Green Bay is a prolific offense, they paid A-A-Ron to a huge contract, so chances are, they’re gonna use his arm until falls the fuck off. This should and will help Allison. He is WR3 for Green Bay but speculative pick for people who think Cobb will fall apart physically and mentally this season. Right now Cobb is on the mend, so Allison will get his chance to suck off the generous teets of Aaron Rodgers. Monitor Cobb and see how he looks this week.
With Will Fuller V (WFV) injured later in this game, this rookie blew the doors off of Indy. He basically took WFV’s spot on this offense. QT isn’t going to see double digit targets each week, but he is a speculative add for the oft injured WFV.
For a team that has an Amish man as its starting QB, you’d think they are hard working and rarely fail, well this past week this team basically gave Houston the game. Enter Grant, who can easily see enough targets to warrant good flex numbers, he’s not replacing Hilton, but he ought to see enough usage since his team can’t run a basic RB draw for fucks sake.
Fitzmagic has been figured out, so in comes Winston. OJ Howard is also out with a vaginal injury so Brate, who has already been involved, will be more involved. He’s the guy in the porno that’s standing there jerking off until he gets his turn to join the gang. He’s had a strong rapport with Winston so this pick up will deliver, you’ll just have to wait until their week 5 bye is over to cash in.
Having to beat Cleveland in OT isn’t normally the best showing for a QB but when you score 40ish points as a team you’re doing pretty good and your stat line should feel as padded as a damn pillow topper. Carr had more than 30 points and he’s going against a stiff Chargers D. This should be a back and forth affair, like trying to text that chick you met the other day and sending a text every 10 minutes and getting one back every 10 minutes.
Fitzmagic came and went faster than a man who hasn’t ejaculated in no nut November. Winston has taken the helm of this team and should have the tools needed to succeed, I mean Fitzpatrick was able to do well with these team in weeks 1 through 3 so Winston should be able to do okay. This team is built around passing, they cannot run to save their fucking lives, and the defense is obviously bad. Winston is just going to throw the ball like the crab leg stealing, meat head he is.