Aaaaaand we’re back for some more fantasy good times! In 5 to Thrive, 5 to Dive, we try to predict the players that will outperform for the current week and vice versa. After a rough Week One, I kinda bounced back with a not so shitty week. Despite being destroyed for posting Aaron Rodgers as a Dive last week, my call came true as he finished outside the Top 10. Let’s look at all of last week’s picks:
5 to Thrive
Jimmy Garoppolo (Fantasy Pros Week 2 Rank: 10, Week 2 Finish: 16) – LOSS
Chris Thompson (Fantasy Pros Week 2 Rank: 26, Week 2 Finish: 11) – WIN
TJ Yeldon (Fantasy Pros Week 2 Rank: 37, Week 2 Finish: 35) – PUSH
Devin Funchess (Fantasy Pros Week 2 Rank: 30, Week 2 Finish: 40) – LOSS
Mike Williams (Fantasy Pros Week 2 Rank: 48, Week 2 Finish: 46) – PUSH
5 to Dive
Aaron Rodgers (Fantasy Pros Week 2 Rank: 5, Week 2 Finish: 19) – WIN
David Johnson (Fantasy Pros Week 2 Rank: 6, Week 2 Finish: 44) – WIN
LeSean McCoy (Fantasy Pros Week 2 Rank: 18, Week 2 Finish: 32) – WIN
Mike Evans (Fantasy Pros Week 2 Rank: 10, Week 2 Finish: 13) – PUSH
Larry Fitzgerald (Fantasy Pros Week 2 Rank: 18, Week 2 Finish: 82) – WIN
That’s a bounceback week there. I’ll take that 5-2-3 record. Now let’s get to this week’s thrivers and divers.
5 to Thrive
Jimmy Garoppolo, QB San Francisco 49ers (Fantasy Pros Rank: 11)
Last week, I went with this handsome devil as my Thrive at QB but Jimmy G didn’t quite tear up the Lions D’ like I had hoped he would. But I’m confident in Pretty Boy JG to bounce back this week even in a tough environment in Kansas City. It’s not that I love Garoppolo’s weapons (they’re very meh) but the Chiefs have given up back to back monster games to Father of 85 Phil Rivers and Big Benjamin. So yeah, I like this suave bastard and porn star lover to outperform his rank this week.
Leonard Fournette, RB Jacksonville Jaguars (Fantasy Pros Rank: 15)
This is definitely cheating, but much like Tiger Woods, I don’t care. Halloween Leonard is coming off a hamstring injury and those things can linger. But the Titans rank 26th in the league against the run and the Jags figure to get back to the ground and pound. I mean Blake the Snake Bortles isn’t throwing for 4 TDs every week. I mean, seriously? How the hell did Blake Bortles throw 4 TDs? That was weird.
Sony Michel, RB New England Patriots (Fantasy Pros Rank: 33)
I wanted to go with Corey Clement but I won’t cheat again. Sony Panasonic LG Michel popped his NFL cherry last week against a stout Jaguars defense. This week he gets the Lions who are absolutely terrible on defense even with Matt Patricia coming in. That guy is a terd. I mean come on dude, shave, don’t look so dumpy, you’re an NFL head coach. But back to Michel, he’s definitely the most talented back there and Rex Burkhead is so inconsistent that I’m willing to take the risk with the maker of Playstations.
Amari Cooper, WR Oakland Raiders (Fantasy Pros Rank: 20)
A week after Cooper pulled a Jimmy Hoffa and disappeared against the Rams great pass defense (at least Amari wasn’t murdered), Amari showed back up last week in a big way hauling in all of his targets and going over 100 yards against the Broncos good defense. I’m a member of the Amari Cooper fan club, the Cooper Troopers. He does have a tough matchup against underrated corner Xavien Howard, but give me Cooper to finish above his 20 rank this week. Cooper Troopers, unite!
Will Fuller, WR Houston Texans (Fantasy Pros Rank: 26)
Fuller returned last week in a big way with 8 catches and over 100 yards and a TD against the Titans. The Texans offense is a different animal when Will the Thrill plays. Fuller’s always a threat to score and his chemistry with Deshaun Watson I guess makes Fuller Sherlock Holmes. Yeah, not a great reference but I’ll take it. Nuk Hopkins figures to see a lot of Janoris Jenkins this week which should provide Fuller plenty of opportunity to have a week like he did last week.
5 to Dive
Kirk Cousins, QB Minnesota Vikings (Fantasy Pros Rank: 6)
Yeah, no you’re not benching Kirk Cousins against the Bills. The Bills are a trainwreck. Cousins is ranked 6th this week but I’m not sure he’ll finish in that area. The Vikes are going to straight up pile drive Buffalo on Sunday and if that’s the case, then Captain Kirk might have an early day of work. And there are a lot of other options behind him on Fantasy Pros list that I think will finish much higher. I feel bad for Bills fans. It’s bad enough you have to live in Buffalo where, according to Jordan Matthews, the only thing to do there is each other (congrats on the sex BTW Jordan), your football team is as ugly as Mr. Larson from Happy Gilmore. God, look at that monster.
Saquon Barkley, RB New York Giants (Fantasy Pros Rank: 6)
I love Barkley as a player and a prospect. Charles’ nephew is gonna be a bonafide stud for years to come. But right now, he has to run behind the Giants O-line which has more leaks than the Iraqi Navy. And this week it won’t get any better as he gets to go against the Texans in their home opener. Last week Barkley saved his fantasy day by catching a shit ton of dump offs from the always confused Eli Manning, and he does have that potential again this week and obviously if you have him, you’re starting him. But he’s not finishing at 6.
David Johnson, RB Arizona Cardinals (Fantasy Pros Rank: 10)
Johnson is one of my favorite RBs to watch in the league, and if he’s used correctly (hello, Mike McCoy) he’s the best two way back in the league, yes better than Le’Veon Bell. Fuck that guy. But I’m going to keep putting Johnson on this list until his offense proves that they know how to use him. I’m not sure that McCoy and Mr. Big Sleeves Sam Bradford can do that. Add their incompetence to the fact that they get to play the Bears and their impressive defense this week, I don’t think he finishes at 10. Someone tell Sam Bradford to pull something out of those sleeves and do something good because he’s ruining a fantastic player.
AJ Green, WR Cincinnati Bengals (Fantasy Pros Rank: 7)
Green reminded everyone last week how good he is with his 3 TD performance on Thursday night against the Ravens. The guy has single handedly made the Red Rocket, er, Red Rifle’s career longer for the Bengals. But this week might be a different story. The Panthers pass defense limited Julio Jones to 64 yards receiving last week and the Bengals offense could be one dimensional this week with the absence of Joe Mixon’ it up. I don’t think Green finishes at 7 or in the Top 10 this week.
Keenan Allen, WR Los Angeles Chargers (Fantasy Pros Rank: 13)
Basically if a top flight WR is playing the Rams, they have a chance of finding themselves on this list. Allen scares me to put on here but I’m going to stick to my theory that the Rams pass defense is so good they can even neutralize one of the league’s best receivers. It doesn’t matter if Peters or Talib follows Keenan, he could have a rough time getting open. Father of now 86 Philip Rivers might have to look elsewhere this week to get the ball down the field.
Last week was a good week for 5 to Thrive, 5 to Dive. We’ll see how this week goes. Thanks for reading!
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