Welcome back for some more fantasy action. In 5 to Thrive, 5 to Dive, we try to predict the players that will outperform their current ranks for the week and vice versa. In Week One, we got off to a rough start but let’s be honest, last week was the definition of a shit show. I mean Ryan Fitzpatrick? FFS. He finally put that Harvard degree to use and started throwing it to the guys wearing the same color as him. Our picks last week were as follows:
5 to Thrive:
Andy Dalton: (Fantasy Pros Week 1 Rank: 12, Week One Finish: 16) – LOSS
Royce Freeman: (Fantasy Pros Week 1 Rank: 19, Week One Finish: 35) – LOSS
Kerryon Johnson: (Fantasy Pros Week 1 Rank: 37, Week One Finish: 49) – LOSS
Corey Davis: (Fantasy Pros Week 1 Rank: 26, Week One Finish: 44) – LOSS
Devin Funchess: (Fantasy Pros Week 1 Rank: 37, Week One Finish: 58) – LOSS
5 to Dive:
Russell Wilson: (Fantasy Pros Week 1 Rank: 9, Week One Finish: 9) – PUSH
Zeke Elliot: (Fantasy Pros Week 1 Rank: 4, Week One Finish: 14) – WIN
Saquon Barkley: (Fantasy Pros Week 1 Rank: 9, Week One Finish: 11) – NOT A WIN
Odell Beckham: (Fantasy Pros Week 1 Rank: 8, Week One Finish: 14) – NOT A WIN
Allen Robinson: (Fantasy Pros Week 1 Rank: 22, Week One Finish: 46) – WIN
So yeah, not a great Week 1. But I’m back for more. Let’s get to this week’s picks.
5 to Thrive
Jimmy Garoppolo, QB San Francisco 49ers (Fantasy Pros Rank: 10)
To be honest, I just want to write about this handsome bastard. Plus, I’m very bullish on him this week. 10 is already high, but he’s gonna have a big week. He looked fine last week against a great Vikings’ D and gets to take on the Lions this week who just had their hearts ripped out by the g’d Jets on Monday Night Football. I expect Jimmy G to light up the Lions’ D, just like Jimmy G uses his D to light up the ladies.
Chris Thompson, RB Washington Redskins (Fantasy Pros Rank: 26)
Thompson didn’t look rusty at all last week even coming off of a broken leg. The quick RB is a critical cog in the Redskins’ passing game, especially with Alex Smith at QB. Smith is as afraid to throw the ball downfield as a nerd is to talk to a girl. It happens every now and then, but it’s not often successful. Expect Smith to look for CT again this week out of the backfield against a Colts defense that isn’t exactly the 85 Bears.
TJ Yeldon, RB Jacksonville Jaguars (Fantasy Pros Rank: 37)
Yeah, this might be cheating a little bit. Leonard Fournette isn’t guaranteed to play this Sunday against the Pats so we’ll see. Is Fournette ever healthy? For being built like a brick shithouse, Halloween Leonard sure is hurt a lot. If he doesn’t go, Yeldon figures to benefit the most for Jags. Yeldon is a better pass catcher and can handle a solid workload.
Devin Funchess, WR Carolina Panthers (Fantasy Pros Rank: 30)
I’m going back to the well with Bunches of Funchess. He disappointed me last week, but I’m just a believer that things will get better. Shoutout: American Authors. I see you. With Greg Olsen set to be out for awhile, the big, rangy target figures to be the prominent focus of the passing game. Cam will look for the big-bodied bastard wide receiver over the middle early and often against the Falcons on Sunday.
Mike Williams, WR Los Angeles Chargers (Fantasy Pros Rank: 48)
No, not that Mike Williams. No, not that Mike Williams. Not that Mike Williams either. Ok, to the Mike Williams of the Chargers. Last week the young wideout had over 80 yards receiving and should see his role grow moving forward. After watching Tyrell Williams and Travis Benjamin drop two long potential touchdowns, you could see Father of 84 Philip Rivers give them the scowl that only a guy with 84 kids could give. He also lost trust in them. Hopefully that trust ends up with MWilly.
5 to Dive
Aaron Rodgers, QB Green Bay Packers (Fantasy Pros Rank: 5)
Rodgers came back on Sunday to beat the Bears like it was nothing. It was an incredible performance on one leg and just added to the fact that Rodgers is the best QB in the league. However, he’s always struggled against the Vikings and he’s still banged up. I’m not bullish on A a ron this week but he’ll probably make me eat it.
David Johnson, RB Arizona Cardinals (Fantasy Pros Rank: 6)
Johnson salvaged his performance last week with a late one yard TD and this week won’t be any easier. The Rams defense is loaded and gets to go up against Mr. Big Sleeves Sam Bradford. What does he have in those sleeves? They’re too damn big. He sure as shit doesn’t have any magic in there because he sucks at playing QB. And it’s going to affect Mr. Suck My Johnson for awhile.
LeSean McCoy, RB Buffalo Bills (Fantasy Pros Rank: 18)
Shady figures to face 14 man boxes this week with Josh Allen making his first career start. Yes, that’s three more players than are allowed for the team on the field at once, but it’s going to look like 14 once McCoy gets the ball. You can’t take anything away from last week’s game because the Bills’ QB was SBTF (check out @BobMenery on Twitter) of the week Nathan Peterman. I don’t see it getting any better this week even with the Chargers not having Joey Bosa.
Mike Evans, WR Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Fantasy Pros Rank: 10)
I thought about going with Evans last week and I’m sure glad I didn’t because the ghost of Joe Montana took over Ryan Fitzpatrick’s body. Joe Montana isn’t dead? Oh, he’s still doing Skechers commercials? Then he’s dead to me. Anyways, the Bucs figure to have a tougher week this week against the defending champs. And can you really trust Ryan Fitzpatrick for more than one week? I can’t. But at least he went to Harvard!
Larry Fitzgerald, WR Arizona Cardinals (Fantasy Pros Rank: 18)
Yeah, I’m beating up on the Cardinals. Sam Bradford is still their quarterback. And Larry doesn’t deserve this. He deserves to score TDs and get the ladies to show him their Fitz. See what I did there? He’s as consistent a WR as we’ve seen but it’s hard to trust him with Sammy Big Sleeves and going against the Rams’ secondary that just made Amari Cooper want to sit in the corner and not play anymore. Stay away from Fitzgerald if you can this week.
Let’s hope this week goes better than last. It’s bounceback time!