Week 2 Ranks

We’re one week in and all hell broke loose in Week 1. Who saw Tampa coming? Definitely not the Saints D. Yikes, what a shit show. When I started writing ranks last week, I had no idea how much of a bear it would be to write player write-ups for a certain amount at each position. Moving forward, I will be putting players into their tiers with just a bulleted list. Tiers this week will be in Adam Sandler movies according to me. Yeah, there’s probably no true “good” ones. But, there’s decent to pure shit. So that’s how we’ll go. Good luck this week!

Quarterbacks

Tier: Happy Gilmore

  • Drew Bress, NO vs. CLE
  • Ben Roethlisberger, PIT vs. KC
  • Philip Rivers, LAC @ BUF
  • Cam Newton, CAR @ ATL
  • Pat Mahomes, KC @ PIT

Tier: The Wedding Singer

  • Aaron Rodgers, GB @ MIN
  • Deshaun Watson, HOU @ TEN
  • Jimmy Garoppolo, SF vs. DET
  • Tom Brady, NE @ JAC
  • Alex Smith, WAS vs. IND

Tier: Billy Madison

  • Tyrod Taylor, CLE @ NO
  • Jared Goff, LAR vs. ARI
  • Russell Wilson, SEA @ CHI
  • Kirk Cousins, MIN @ GB
  • Case Keenum, DEN vs. OAK

Tier: Big Daddy

  • Matt Stafford, DET @ SF
  • Andrew Luck, IND vs. WAS
  • Matt Ryan, ATL vs. CAR
  • Mitch Trubisky, CHI vs. SEA
  • Marcus Mariota, TEN vs. HOU

Tier: The Waterboy

  • Sam Darnold, NYJ vs. MIA
  • Dak Prescott, DAL vs. NYG
  • Andy Dalton, CIN vs. BAL
  • Eli Manning, NYG @ DAL
  • Blake Bortles, JAC vs. NE
  • Ryan Fitzpatrick, TB vs. PHI
  • Nick Foles, PHI @ TB
  • Joe Flacco, CIN @ BAL
  • Derek Carr, OAK @ BAL
  • Josh Allen, BUF vs. LAC
  • Ryan Tannehill, MIA @ NYJ
  • Sam Bradford, ARI @ LAR

Running Backs

Tier: Happy Gilmore

  • Todd Gurley, LAR vs. ARI
  • Alvin Kamara, NO vs. CLE
  • James Conner, PIT vs. KC
  • Zeke Elliot, DAL vs. NYG
  • Melvin Gordon, LAC @ BUF

Tier: The Wedding Singer

  • Jordan Howard, CHI vs. SEA
  • David Johnson, ARI @ LAR
  • Christian McCaffrey, CAR @ ATL
  • Kareem Hunt, KC @ PIT
  • Saquon Barkley, NYG @ DAL

Tier: Billy Madison

  • Lamar Miller, HOU @ TEN
  • Jay Ajayi, PHI @ TB
  • Dalvin Cook, MIN @ GB
  • Joe Mixon, CIN vs. BAL
  • Alex Collins, BAL @ CIN
  • Adrian Peterson, WAS vs. IND
  • Devonta Freeman/Tevin Coleman vs. CAR (Freeman is Questionable)
  • LeSean McCoy, BUF vs. LAC
  • Royce Freeman, DEN vs. OAK
  • Kenyan Drake, MIA @ NYJ

Tier: Big Daddy

  • Dion Lewis, TEN vs. HOU
  • Chris Thompson, WAS vs. IND
  • Leonard Fournette/TJ Yeldon, JAC vs. NE (Fournette is Questionable)
  • Jamal Williams, GB vs. MIN
  • Carlos Hyde, CLE @ NO
  • Derrick Henry, TEN vs. HOU
  • Isaiah Crowell, NYJ vs. MIA
  • Rex Burkhead, NE @ JAC
  • Marshawn Lynch, OAK @ DEN
  • Peyton Barber, TB vs. PHI

Tier: The Waterboy

  • Matt Brieda, SF vs. DET
  • Alfred Morris, SF vs. DET
  • James White, NE @ JAC
  • Chris Carson, SEA @ CHI
  • Kerryon Johnson, DET @ SF
  • Philip Lindsay, DEN vs. OAK
  • Duke Johnson, CLE @ NO
  • Tarik Cohen, CHI vs. SEA
  • Jordan Wilkins, IND @ WAS
  • Ty Montgomery, GB vs. MIN

Wide Receivers

Tier: Happy Gilmore

  • Antonio Brown, PIT vs. KC
  • Julio Jones, ATL vs. CAR
  • Michael Thomas, NO vs. CLE
  • Odell Beckham, NYG @ DAL
  • Keenan Allen, LAC @ BUF

Tier: The Wedding Singer

  • DeAndre Hopkins, HOU @ TEN
  • Tyreek Hill, KC @ PIT
  • JuJu Smith-Schuster, PIT vs. KC
  • Stefon Diggs, MIN @ GB
  • Jarvis Landry, CLE @ NO

Tier: Billy Madison

  • Davante Adams, GB vs. MIN
  • Mike Evans, TB vs. PHI
  • Emmanuel Sanders, DEN vs. OAK
  • Adam Thielen, MIN @ GB
  • T.Y. Hilton, IND @ WAS
  • Golden Tate, DET @ SF
  • Demaryius Thomas, DEN vs. OAK
  • Brandin Cooks, LAR vs. ARI
  • Larry Fitzgerald, ARI @ LAR
  • Corey Davis, TEN vs. HOU

Tier: Big Daddy

  • Josh Gordon, CLE @ NO
  • Allen Robinson, CHI vs. SEA
  • Marvin Jones, DET @ SF
  • Cooper Kupp, LAR vs. ARI
  • Kenny Stills, MIA @ NYJ
  • Nelson Agholor, PHI @ TB
  • Amari Cooper, OAK @ DEN
  • Randall Cobb, GB vs. MIN
  • Devin Funchess, CAR @ ATL
  • Chris Hogan, NE @ JAC

Tier: The Waterboy

  • Michael Crabtree, BAL @ CIN
  • Jamison Crowder, WAS vs. IND
  • Robert Woods, LAR vs. ARI
  • Robby Anderson, NYJ vs. MIA
  • Kenny Golladay, DET @ SF
  • Sterling Shepard, NYG @ DAL
  • Tyler Lockett, SEA vs. CHI
  • Sammy Watkins, KC @ PIT
  • Quincy Enunwa, NYJ vs. MIA
  • Pierre Garcon, SF vs. DET

Tight Ends

Tier: Happy Gilmore

  • Rob Gronkowski, NE @ JAC

Tier: The Wedding Singer

  • Travis Kelce, KC @ PIT
  • Jordan Reed, WAS vs. IND
  • Zach Ertz, PHI @TB

Tier: Billy Madison

  • Evan Engram, NYG @ DAL
  • George Kittle, SF vs. DET
  • Jimmy Graham, GB @ MIN
  • Trey Burton, CHI vs. SEA
  • Jack Doyle, IND @ WAS

Tier: Big Daddy

  • Kyle Rudolph, MIN @ GB
  • David Njoku, CLE @ NO
  • OJ Howard, TB vs. PHI

Tier: The Waterboy

  • Jared Cook, OAK @ DEN
  • Tyler Eifert, CIN vs. BAL
  • Austin Sefarian-Jenkins, JAC @ NE
  • Ben Watson, NO vs. CLE
  • Ricky Seals-Jones, ARI @ LAR

That’s it for this week. Good luck to all. Go get those motherlovin’ DUBS!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s